Phlebotomy Point of Care

5 Things Phlebotomists Hear on Repeat

If only the comments and pick-up lines phlebotomists hear were unique. It’s as if there’s one very short book on how to get under a phlebotomist’s skin (heh), and it’s required reading at unoriginal school.

Well, don’t let ‘em get you down. Have some fun with it – or at least imagine having some fun with it. Don’t get fired or anything.

Here are five gems phlebotomists often endure, each followed by ways you might wish you could respond.

“Again?!”: Nope, just kidding! I have a really strong hunch that your condition is responding to treatment. It’s tough to be completely sure without analyzing a new sample, but meh. If you’re good, I’m good.

“Sooo … what’s your type?”: Not sure how to answer this. Are you asking for my blood type or for the traits that I find attractive in a potential suitor? Fortunately, my answer is the same for both questions. Sooo … do you mind if I do my job now?

“Here comes the vampire!”: Yep, here I am, muahaha. Way to not be fooled by my base tan and lack of fangs. Isn’t it weird that so many of us work as phlebotomists? I mean, I guess it makes sense – get paid to do what you love, night shifts, etc. On the other hand, why do immortals even care about making money or having health insurance? Must just be our lame attempt to fit into society. Anyway, if you’ll excuse me, the sun’s coming up and my queen-size coffin is calling.

“I feel like a pincushion!”:  I know, right?! And I totally feel like a seamstress. Drawing blood is a lot like sewing a pretty dress if you really think about it. Now, how does that gown fit? Need it taken in a bit?

“How much are you taking this time??”: Hmm, hard to say. How much do you have left? LOL!

What did we miss? Please leave your favorites in the comment box below!

11 Comments

  • Jessica
    January 26, 2016 - 8:13 pm | Permalink

    Another one I hear all the time is “you ve done this before right?? I always mess around and say, nope… Today’s my first day!! Haha

  • Heidi Fitzgerald
    January 27, 2016 - 10:07 am | Permalink

    That didnt even hurt!

    How long have you done this? I always amdwer i readthe manual on the way to work this morning.

  • Heidi Fitzgerald
    January 27, 2016 - 10:07 am | Permalink

    That didnt even hurt!

    How long have you done this? I always answer i read the manual on the way to work this morning.

  • Kelly
    January 27, 2016 - 4:05 pm | Permalink

    I’m always hearing “are you good at this?” And ” you have ONE SHOT”

    • Liz
      November 25, 2016 - 11:15 am | Permalink

      One day I had a patient ask me if “I was good”? This one particular day that remark hit me the wrong way so after I finished drawing her blood,I said to her”Can I ask you a question? How did you expect me to answer that question?” All she did was chuckle.
      Really, I think sometimes these people think we live to hurt people!! It gets to you sometimes

  • Elizabeth
    January 27, 2016 - 6:23 pm | Permalink

    Are you good at this?

  • Mary
    January 28, 2016 - 7:52 pm | Permalink

    Patient asks, “What are you doing with all that blood? Selling it on the street corner?” My response, “Didn’t they tell you we found out you had the best blood in the hospital, and it’s getting close to break time, so we wanted a sample.”

  • Susan
    April 5, 2016 - 2:07 pm | Permalink

    Hello,

    I have been interested in getting into the medical field for quite awhile. My question involves salary. I read on a site that the avg salary of a phlebotomist is around 30k. That seems a bit low to me. Do you happen to know the MOST a phlebotomist can make. Are there any places out there that employ a phlebotomist for around 50k/year in the US?

    Thanks!

    • Aaron Ogg
      April 8, 2016 - 8:39 am | Permalink

      Hi Susan,

      We’re not really an authority on phlebotomist earnings, nor do we know what site to refer you to for accurate information.

      Sorry we can’t be of more assistance.

      Thanks for reading!

  • January 19, 2017 - 3:19 pm | Permalink

    I am laughing as I am reading this! I have a site that covers phlebotomy at length including salary. you did a great job, covering what phlebotomist hear! My site is phlebotomycertification101
    Toba

  • Kathy
    January 27, 2017 - 8:50 pm | Permalink

    When they ask if I done this before or if I’m any good, My response is always “your about to find out” Usually they just sit quietly not knowing what to say or do. Lol

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