Lab techs are a passionate bunch, but they’re not all that difficult to please.
Sure, they’re dreamers (mmm, beers with Bill Nye and Neil deGrasse Tyson), but they’re also down to earth. Organization, cleanliness, and caffeine are usually enough to fill lab techs’ hearts with joy.
Here are seven things that make lab techs ridiculously happy.
Proper labeling: Thorough labeling is essential in their line of work, but lab techs know how important it is outside the lab, too. Leftovers wrapped in aluminum foil that doesn’t have a clearly printed ID and date will be forgotten. Soon you could have a big, smelly problem on your hands. Proper labeling is easy and it saves time and waste. It’s beautiful.
A perfect Kimwipe pull: There’s a certain feeling when you pull a Kimwipe® and it comes out oh so smoothly, leaving the one behind standing up nice and pretty for your next pull. It’s a lot like landing on an even dollar amount when you fill your gas tank, or peeling a hard-boiled egg perfectly. You can’t think about it. It just happens.
A quiet-ish centrifuge: Old, noisy centrifuges have been known to make some of the most unpleasant racket known to man. Think off-balance washing machine full of banshees. While none of them are exactly music to the ears, some are tolerable — even somewhat soothing in a monotonous, droning sort of way. Lab techs know they’ve found the right one when the whir doesn’t invade their dreams. (TIP: Got a noisy one and no budget dollars to replace it? Try a vibration mat.)
Seeing others wash their hands: As healthcare professionals whose gloved hands touch urine, sputum, and stool every day, proper hand hygiene is important to lab techs. Some might have even said no to a second date because they didn’t hear the water run after their new love interest used the restroom. Totally understandable. So when they witness, for example, a 5-year-old washing his hands after eating a cookie, they realize there is still hope for this world after all.
Menisci in everyday life: When you drink a glass of wine, do you ever pause and admire the beauty that is the rim you see when you tilt the glass to its side? Have you overfilled a measuring cup while cooking just to see that wonderful little tension bubble on top? If so, your science geek cred is lab tech-level legit.
Fresh coffee: Ah. You sweet, bitter brown nectar, you. Some days and nights you are the difference between maximum efficiency and lab bench nappy time. Most lab techs are very particular about its strength, sweetness level, and temperature. Or they’re more into tea, which is probably fine. Lab techs don’t ask for much, but if they’re going to put in 12-hour graveyard shift, they’d better have the right juice to get through it.
Comfortable goggles: Goggles have come a long way. It used to be impossible to find a pair that wouldn’t leave a two-day dent in your hair or make you feel like you’re looking through a dirty fish tank. As goggle design and comfort have evolved, so have tastes. Lab techs who wear prescription eyewear know how truly magical it is to find the pair that fits just right over them, and they guard them with their lives.